I am fairly certain being pregnant with twins ruined me from ever wanting to be pregnant again. I only ever wanted two children, so I am so, so very happy that we have our darling angels, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a \”normal\” pregnancy. Jeff would be totally happy if we were to get pregnant again. Me, not so much. Of course I would have Gestational Diabetes again….the upside to that is I wouldn\’t gain a ton of weight. Being pregnant with twins was hard. Much, much harder than I imagined it would be. Getting so big so fast, getting GB, being so worried all of the time, so tired, so sore, so everything. Everything about it was just over the top. I did enjoy the beginning and middle up until about 28 weeks when I was just miserable. Being on bedrest for 12 weeks didn\’t help matters either I\’m sure. Sometimes I feel like I missed out on that pregnancy glow…being able to enjoy it without the worry.  I wonder what it would be like to only go to the doctor once or twice a month instead of 3x a week. I wonder what it would be like to feel one baby moving instead of always wondering who it was moving. I wonder what it would be like after the baby was born. I know being pregnant again would be so very different, but I am just too tainted to ever want it again.

My bonding experience with my babies was so different from what I imagined it would be. I think every mom-to-be has visions of popping the baby out and instantly falling head over heels in love. While I did love my babies dearly, the falling head over heels didn\’t happen right away. I didn\’t get to see them until 8 hours after they were delivered. I didn\’t get to hold them until 5 days after they were born. That was really hard. They were in isolettes surrounded by monitors that were constantly beeping. I didn\’t have the chance to breastfeed. I didn\’t have the chance to cuddle them. We didn\’t get to bring them home for 16 and 21 days and leaving them at the hospital each day was the hardest thing I\’ve ever had to do. Learning two babies at once is so different than being able to devote all of your time and energy to just one. You can\’t sit and cuddle them for hours on end because it seems like they both always need you at the same time. I never, ever want to go through that again and while I know being pregnant with one baby wouldn\’t be as hard and the baby probably wouldn\’t end up in the NICU - you just never know. I feel so lucky and blessed to have two healthy, happy, perfect babies that even though I wonder what another would be like I\’m perfectly happy with things as they are.

Life is really, really good.

 Three weeks old

and I am a Snoraholic.

The week before last I came down with a cold. How in the world did I catch a cold when I barely leave the house is beyond me, but let me tell you….being sick and taking care of babies is no picnic.  Jeff also got sick….except he wanted to be the winner so instead of just a cold he also has bronchitis. Being sick with an even sicker husband is definately no picnic. Over the weekend I was on call 24 hours a day. Normally I get a break since Jeff takes the babies from 9pm -2am on weekdays and from 9pm to 5am on weekends. We didn’t want the babies to get sick so all weekend he stayed downstairs while the babies and I stayed upstairs. Can anyone say torture. Sleep deprivation is pure torture! I suspect little Shenzie may be getting sick as she is really congested and is crying much more. Friday night the babies were little champion sleepers and slept until 3am. At that point I had to bring Shenzie to bed with me because she just wouldn’t go back to sleep in her crib. Saturday they outdid themselves and slept until 4am at which point I brought Shenzie to bed with me. Sunday night she slept with me from about midnight on. I was complaining to Jeff that she was up all night tossing and turning and whining. He said it was probably because of me. Because of me!! How in the world could I cause her sleeplessness. Because apparently I snore like a trucker. When I was pregnant Jeff video recorded me snoring to show me just how bad it really was. I hate to admit it, but it was pretty bad. Of course now that I am not pregnant anymore I didn’t know I still snored. It must be really loud to keep my husband awake. He can sleep through just about anything - and I am not exaggerating in the least. So there you have it - I snore…very loudly!

*Edit. I wrote this post last week. Since then both Shenzie and Heaten have their first colds. Poor little babies. Poor Mommy and Daddy. =(

  Yesterday was hell day around here. Thank goodness Jeff was home or I think I would have ran away…sans babies. The babies screamed and cried for a good portion of the day. Even if we were holding them they would get hysterical and just scream. A person can only take so much screaming before they want to shoot themselves or poke their eardrums out to stop the noise. Two babies screaming at the same time = pure hell. If everyday were like yesterday I would totally give the babies back. Back to who I have no idea….just back. Jeff said he would take them if I gave them away….ummm…that is kinda defeating the purpose eh? (Haha @ eh - good old Canadians).

  Today is a new, fresh and clean day. It is 10am and so far I have managed to ¤Feed the babies ¤Clean bottles  ¤Exercise  ¤Shower  ¤Get dressed and put on makeup  ¤Eat breakfast w/ cottage cheese  ¤A load of laundry. Superwoman - why yes, yes I am! And if you notice you’ll see two very unlike Lesley things. The first of course is exercise…WHAT!?!?!? I HATE to exercise…but I guess these last 12 pounds aren’t going away on their own so Elliptical here we come. Second, cottage cheese?!?!?!? When I was pregnant and had Gestational Diabetes I had to eat cottage cheese every single day. I don’t really like the stuff, but 1/2cup has something like 14g of protein which is a lot. My usual breakfast includes Frosted Flakes which I still ate - I have to slowly wean myself of their flakey goodness. Summer is coming soon and I really want to be in better shape so I’m going to really try to eat better, exercise regularly, and get out more with the babies. That last part has nothing whatsoever to do with getting in shape - it’s more of a mental thing. Being trapped in the house everyday is really starting to get depressing. Today’s outing - Target! Whooo! Our favorite neighborhood store!

 So there you have it - my new leaf. 

And yummy baby goodness.

If for no other reason a person should have children just for the tax write off! I mean….WHOA! Having two “write offs” doesn’t hurt either! I could get used to this. So…most of the beautiful IRS refund goes to hospital bills and whatnot, but Jeff and I decided we would each get a present for all of our hard work!! Now for all of you who think I am SO mean to my hubby (I won’t name names..Kristy and Stacey) you should know that instead of getting the new camera I have had my eye on for quite some time (Canon 30d) I put my camera money toward Jeff getting Lasik on his eyes. Yes, once in awhile I do show my nice side. =) So instead I got this beauty…..

 Tamron 17-50mm f2.8 AF superduper fast lens

And because my husband spoils me rotten…

Kenko Extension tubes (a WONDERFUL Valentines Day present) for my 100mm f2.8 Macro lens

My lens lineup (minus the 18-55mm kit lens I took this photo with)

From left to right….

Canon 100mm f2.8 Macro ¤ Canon 28-135mm IS ¤ Tamron 17-50mm f2.8 ¤ Canon 50mm f1.4 ¤ Kenko Extension tubes and of course my Camera, battery grip, Canon Speedlite 580EX, Proslik Tripod, and Lowepro Slingshot 200 (which I just outgrew). Pure Heaven I tell you. The only thing missing is my future lens Canon 70-200 f4L…ahhhhhhh.

My name is Lesley Spoiled Barr, nice to meet you. =)

Birthday to my wonderful, amazing, husband!!!!

Happy Happy Birthday sugarmuffinlollipoptartchocolateicecreamcherrypie!!

I love you, forever.

Happy Birthday Daddy!!!! Don’t worry, we know you’re not as old as mommy said you were…that would be silly =)

 You are the best daddy in the whole world and we love you the most!

Happy Happy Birthday to Auntie Leah!!!! We hope you are having a wonderful day!!

Lesley sick with a cold = inconvenient

Jeff sick with bronchitis and put in quarantine for 3 days and not able to help with the babies = torture

Jeff sick with bronchitis and put in quarantine for 3 days and not able to help with the babies while Lesley is sick with a cold = torture x2

Jeff sick with bronchitis and put in quarantine for 3 days and not able to help with the babies while Lesley and Shenzie are sick with colds = just kill me now

All I have to say is men are big, sissy lalala babies!! When we get sick the world has to carry on - laundry still gets done, house gets cleaned, babies get fed etc. When they get sick it is like the end of the world. They whine, they cry, they moan and groan. Cry me a river is all I have to say!! Kristy said I have to play nice since my husband is so wonderful and stays up all night with the babies so I can get my “beauty rest”. So, cry, moan, whine, and groan all you want!! =)

My cold is on its way out the door - Jeff’s cold is just coming in the door. And for the record his cold is not the same as my cold so it can’t be blamed on me for giving it to him.  Babies, oh my sleeping babies. Last night they ate at 6:30pm, went to bed at 7:15pm and slept until 4am! Nine hours! Holy cow - if only it continues! We are on a roll….keep em coming!

Heaten found his tongue last week. Turtle tongue!!!! He rolls it all around, sticks it out as far as it will go and just holds it there. It cracks me up! Just ignore the scratches on his face - I’m too lazy to photoshop them out. He loves to scratch his face when he wakes up or is going to sleep. We have to “mitt him” to keep him from tearing his cute little face up.

And the rolly polly - she is all round and juicy -  it is killing me not being able to kiss her little fat rolls!

 Happy Hearts Day

In the left corner, weighing in at 13.10 pounds and 22 3/4 inches long the Spitup Champion of the World…….

Shenzie Weather Echo Barr

 And in the other corner, the Screaming Champion of the World, weighing in at 15.3 pounds and 24 1/2 inches long…..

Heaten Grey Myrick Barr

 Their four month Pediatrician appointment went very well. They are both healthy - the doctors first comment was “It sure doesn’t look like these two are going hungry”…hahahah. Little fatties. Heaten is in the 25th percentile for height and the 60th for weight. Shenzie is the 10th percentile for height and the 50th for weight. Needless to say they are rolly pollies!

We started rice cereal this weekend. Shenzie took to it like a champ while Heaten had a few words to say about it.

She doesn’t look like she likes it, but she ate about 3x the amount Heaten did so it must not be too bad.

More later, babies up and ready to take on the world!

Alexee wants know who Shenzie is mad at in this picture, she started laughing & said “she’s pickin a dirty look”

*Comment from Auntie Kristy and cousin Alexee at www.lesleysmeshly.com 

 Another comment made from Daddy that I found absolutely hilarious.

“I’m so glad we have two babies, having only one would be boring”

Or his famous comment about Shenzie’s spitup…

“She’s like a slot machine that just keeps giving and giving”

And not to be left out of the fun….the ever happy Heaten Grey!