Alternate Titles:

Wake me up and then fall asleep and I will hurt you

Oh So Close…so very, very close

I finally get sleep only to have it cruelly snatched away

Sleep - my precious, precious sleep.

You’re kidding me right?!?

I want to hurt my husband

    So I’m sure you can guess that last night’s sleep wasn’t all that and a bag of chips. It COULD have been all that and a bag of chips but nooooooooooooo…..Jeff had to get all crazy on me. Shenzie is finally sleeping through the night since BA so of course it is time for another wrench.

The night went something like this:

6:45p  Feed babies bottle

7:15p  Feed babies Oatmeal Cereal and Squash

8:00p  Tell babies bedtime story, sing babies bedtime songs and off to bed they go

8:05p  Both babies sound asleep, not a peep out of them

2:00a  Jeff comes to bed and tells me we need to talk

2:01a  I cry tears that my precious sleep is now gone and growl….what!?!!?

Him: Shenzie is sleeping on her stomach

Me:  ……………and?

  A little background here. I have been telling Jeff for weeks now that this would happen. She hates to sleep on her back and will only sleep if lying on her side with her head tilted at some crazy angle. It was only a matter of time before the side sleep turned into belly sleep since she is now a roly poly. I gave him all of the info I’ve read about babies sleeping on their bellies…basically you can turn them over 100x a night or get used to the idea that they are now belly sleepers. I removed everything from her crib last week and took the fluffy bumper down in preparation of this day so I am not worried at all. Then Heaten gets his foot stuck in the bars of the crib because I took the bumper out and cries bloody murder so Jeff says we should get one of those breathable bumpers. The kind that are BREATHABLE so they don’t pose a SIDS risk, but keep all flailing arms and legs in the crib. Ok, so I get the bumper….put it up…viola’ no more stuck legs. So you see…crib is safe, baby is safe, baby wants to sleep on belly, dad is crazy.

The conversation at 2:00am

Him: I’m worried…her face is all pressed into the bumper

Me:  Well, it’s the breathable bumper so I’m sure it’s fine

Him: I’m still worried, what if she can’t breath…her face is really pressed into it

Me:  Well, if you’re that worried you can stay up all night and stand guard at her crib to make sure she is breathing

Him:  I’ve already turned her over x amount of times, she just keeps rolling back to her belly

Me:  Well, remember when we talked about this and I told you it would happen and not to be worried

Him: What is the bumper made out of?

Me:  BREATHABLE mesh…the kind that she can breath through

Him:  Do you think we should take it out?

Me:  If it will help you sleep better lets just take it out

Him:  But then what if her arms get stuck in the bars or her head is pressed right up against the hard crib

Me:  Well, that’s one of the reasons we got the bumper in the first place…the flailing arms and head hitting the crib

Him: I’m going to check on her again

Me:  If you wake her up by moving her you can stay up with her all night long, I’m going back to sleep

  *Side note…I have a really, really, REALLY hard time going back to sleep after I’ve woken up in the middle of the night. Sometimes it takes hours for me to get back to sleep - Jeff has no such problem - his head hits the pillow and he is out.

Him:  One minute later……SNORE

Me: Thinking to myself ‘You’re kidding me right’

Him: Snorrrre, Snorrrre, Snorrre

Me: Awake until 4am when I finally fall asleep…lying in bed the entire time thinking I want to hurt my husband

5:00a Shenzie is crying because she is stuck on her belly

5:05a Shenzie wakes Heaten up with her crying

5:06a Heaten is crying

5:07a Mommy gets up to soothe babies back to sleep

5:30a Shenzie is crying because she is stuck on her belly

Etc. etc. until 6:45a when we finally declare it is morning and get up to eat

7:15a I wake Jeff up

Him:  I’m soooooo tired

Me:  Don’t even go there Mr. I wake my wife up and then fall asleep while she is awake for hours because I’m crazy!

So now we have a belly sleeper, a crazy dad, and a tired mom.

The bad thing about belly sleeping……when they spitup and don’t move away from the spitup you get something like this:

 And our good little back sleeper