Dear Dada,

Gosh, where do we even begin. Last Father’s Day we were still in Mommy’s belly waiting to be born. Here we are, 19 weeks old..kicking and hitting each other because we were already squished.

We can’t talk yet, but Mama always says that our first word will be Dada. Then she says ‘whatever’. We don’t know what she means by that, but it makes us giggle every time.

We love having your for our dad. You are so fun and loving and wonderful. Our favorite times of the day are when we wake you up in the morning and when you and Mama put us to bed at night. One day Mama will tell us how our little faces light up the minute we hear your voice when you come home from work and how we squeal with excitement when you come up the stairs, our little legs and arms waving up and down waiting for you to pick us up.

 Thank you Dada for sleeping by my bed while I was sick, keeping me company and making sure I was ok. I didn’t mean to worry you and I feel much better now thanks to all of your love and kisses.

When we were little we used to fall asleep on your chest, cozy and warm. Now we cuddle you in bed and hit you in the face while you try to sleep. It is so much fun!

You are the best Daddy we could ever have! We are so lucky to have you as our Daddy and we love you the most in the whole wide universe.

We love you!!

Love,

Shenzie and Heaten

p.s.

Mama says Happy Father’s Day. She loves you the most and couldn’t ask for a more perfect husband, best friend, and daddy. <3

Dear Heaten Grey,

My little man. Oh how I love you. You are getting over your cold and are finally sleeping back on your crib. Thank goodness. As much as I love you I really dislike sleeping in the same room with you. I can’t sleep because I’m too worried about whether you are cold or worried I may wake you or worried Jeff might wake you, or worried about being worried.

You are so happy and easy to read it makes mothering you much easier. You fuss and cry when you’re tired or want to be left alone, you smile and laugh the rest of the time. You LOVE LOVE LOVE your crib. You want to be in there even if the rest of us are out in the loft playing. You like time alone to yell, giggle, talk, and babble to yourself. You lie in your crib for up to an hour sometimes playing away when you should be sleeping. I can’t complain though, you sleep through the night and take good naps during the day. Your second favorite place is your Dada’s lap. You love to sit in his lap and slap on his arm.

We nicknamed your Morrissey because of your hair…although Grandma Jan calls you Elvis. Your hair is out of control. It is so cute and soft I can’t stand it. Your eyes are still bright blue and are so very pretty. I’m sorry, but you are a pretty boy. You have the longest eyelashes, the perfect little lips, and the prettiest skin. I could eat you up! You also got your first freckle a couple of months ago on your left knee. 

You still love food and have now tried tofu and cubed bananas that you like. You’re not real fond of your mesh feeder anymore, but hopefully you’ll learn to like it again since it is easy for mama and yummy for you!

At your Dr. appointment last week you weighed 18 pounds and 12 ounces. Whew. You are getting quite heavy to lug around in your carseat. Pretty soon we are changing out the infant carriers for the convertible carseats. It should be interesting.

You still do not like tummy time and roll right to your back every tummy time. You know how to roll to your belly, but you don’t.This past week we’ve been working on sitting and standing. You are learning how to stand with your feet flat on the floor (with our help of course). You used to stand on your tiptoes which was cute, but not too good for learning how to walk. You are only interested in the toys within your reach and have no interest in scooting or rolling to get the ones out of reach. You now LOVE your exersaucer. You spin around and bang on the buttons and eat the toys. It gives me 15 minutes of peace so I love the exersaucer too!
You LOVE your sister and laugh at her constantly. You love to touch her and hit her and babble at her. This past two weeks while you’ve been sick we’ve had to keep you separated. It makes me sad when you can’t play with your sister because you love her so much.

You love to blow bubbles, babble, laugh so hard you get the hiccups, and scream in happiness and anger. Your temper tantrums are so funny I can’t help but laugh. Here is you getting pissed. Seriously, how cute are you when you’re mad.

I love you little boy, so much it makes me want to squish you with love!!

Love,

Mama

Shenzie Bear,

This past week has been so crazy. You are finally recovering from Bronchiolitis/RSV which was so scary and horrible I hope we never have to revisit it again! For someone so sick you sure were a happy baby. You smiled and laughed this week more than I’ve ever seen. Maybe because your Dada was here taking care of you so you got extra attention. You are getting so big. At your Dr. appointment you weighed 17 pounds 6 ounces. Chunky Monkey! The cutest chunky monkey I ever saw!

You are getting to be so much fun. You roll or scoot constantly to get where you want to go. You are into EVERYTHING. You reach your little arms as far as they will go to get into things you’re not supposed to be getting into. I really need to crack down and finish baby proofing the loft. You are a very curious baby who wants to touch and hold everything you see. Grandma says I was the exact same way…always going a million miles an hour and wanting to know what everything was, why it was, how it was, etc. And when you ask why the sky is blue and your dad gives you the long, real version of why the sky is blue…..I’ll make up some story that will be much more fun, I promise!

Little girl, you are the worlds pickiest eater. I still have to mix all vegetables with fruit and even then you are not so enthusiastic to eat. You barely open your mouth for the food except when it comes to applesauce. Oh how you love your applesauce. You open your mouth like a little bird before I even have the next bite ready. You tried tofu for the first time this week and surprised me by actually eating it. You also like cut up pieces of banana. It’s so cute to watch you gum your food. You LOVE your mesh feeder. You scream and have a temper tantrum when I take it away. You’ve eaten grapes, peaches, and mango’s and you can’t get enough.

We haven’t heard any real words from you yet, but you are talking more now and giggling up a storm. You blow bubbles, suck on your lip, roll your tongue around, and scream in delight (VERY loudly). You also can sit on your own but can’t get to the sitting position without some help. You love to stand and look so adorable when you do. A sure fire way to get you to burp is to stand you up. Viola’.

You are so sweet and cute I can’t stop giving you kisses and hugs. You “kiss” back..only it’s more of an open mouth to the cheek with lots of slobber rather than a kiss, but I still love it!!! I love you to pieces baby girl. You stole my heart, forever. I only wish I could capture every moment, every touch, every snuggle and bottle them up.

Love,

Mama

**All things Heaten coming soon.

For more photos of Shenzie Bear you can go to: http://lesleysmeshly.smugmug.com/Barr%20Babies

We’re alive!!!!! And we’re almost all healthy *knock on wood*. Quick update with more fun goodies to follow when I get more than 5 minutes to myself. Shenzie Weather is doing much, much better. She rarely needs her breathing treatments and sounds a zillion times better. Heaten’s cold is on the mend as well as mine so things are looking up!! See you soon!

But just barely.

  Thank you all for your get well thoughts. They seem to be working. Shenzie, while not completely recovered, seems to be doing better. Her breathing is much less labored and the nebulizer seems to help. She has MUCH more energy than she should considering how sick she is. Albuterol is like baby crack. She gets these huge bursts of energy after her treatments that crack me up!  Maybe I need to take some.

  Heaten still has a cold, but no RSV so hallalujah! His moods are improving slowly, but surely. He laughed and laughed yesterday…and we laughed and laughed with him…until my throat was even more raw. I don’t think I’ve ever had such a bad cold. Or maybe it’s because when I used to get sick I could actually laze around and sleep it off. Not so much anymore. Even though Jeff has been home (thank God!) it is still full time work trying to keep the babies seperated, give Shenzie her breathing treatments, and keep them occupied when they are fussy and sick all the while coughing and sneezing up a storm of my own.

  I feel like I am in survival mode. Everyday I think…if I can just make it through today then tomorrow will be better. I’m still waiting on the tomorrows getting better however. I feel like I want to run away for a couple of days and sleep, watch TV, read, and do nothing at all. Sad, but true. There are no sick days away from being a mommy. 

  On to bigger and better things. Shenzie now has TWO teeth. She grew another one last night sometime. Along with her new tooth is more motion. She now army spins and scoots in circles. She rolls to where she wants to get and can pretty much cross a room rolling and army scooting her way. Watch out world, here she comes!

  Because the babies were born earlier than 35 weeks and spent time in the NICU our insurance company authorized a vaccination shot called Synagis to prevent RSV. RSV is very, very serious for preemie babies who have immature lungs. RSV season goes from October to April so for those months we took the babies to get their monthly Synagis shots. These shots are VERY expensive….I’m talking like $6000.00 each expensive of which we have a HUGE co-pay…I’m talking like $1000.00 each huge. Needless to say these shots better be made of magic gold dust that prevents our babies from ever getting a sniffle, sneeze, or cough.

  Those shots were full of Shit! With a capital S! Both babies got their last shot in April…RSV season is now over….it is summer here….like over 100 degrees summer…I rarely take the babies out and nobody EVER touches them when we are. I didn’t leave the house with the babies for the first 3 months of their lives….and somehow, somewhere, Shenzie got RSV.

  Are you *insert some serious cuss words here*  kidding me. I mean, come on. How in the world, after the zillion precautions that we took did she get sick. She is so wheezy, sniffly, coughy, congested, and miserable I want to cry. We are keeping Heaten as far as possible away from her and her sicky germs. Please, please do not let him get sick too. There is absolutely nothing worse than seeing your baby sick and not being able to fix it.

  Wish us luck on our RSV journey to hell, we’re going to need it.

   Three days of yummy, delicious, nap taking bliss! Both babies were taking good naps, eating well, and happy as could be. I was swimming along on Cloud 9 when what do I hear? Cough, cough, sneeze. No, that couldn’t be. It is summer. It is 100 degrees outside. We made it through the entire winter with hardly a sneeze. Cough, sneeze, cough, cough. Hmmm…. those sure sound like coughs and sneezes. SNEEZE, COUGH, COUGH. No doubt about it….those were definately sneezes and coughs.

  Shenzie has the worst cold ever…sneezing and coughing up a storm and poor Heaten has his first fever and is coughing. Can I cry?

  Off to take care of sick little babies…..I PRAY Jeff doesn’t get sick…he’ll be the biggest baby of them all!!!

Shenzie and Heaten,

Hi my little Clammies!! Clammies was the first nickname we gave you both because we were happy as clams to find out we were pregnant….now you have tons of new nicknames! Shenzie is my little monkey, popsicle, pop tart, Shenzie Boo, Shenzie Bear, and Stink Butt. Heaten you are buddy, little man, Heaten Bear, Boo Bear, and cousin Alexee nicknamed you Spike.

I don’t even know where to begin this month. I’m sure I’ll be saying that every single month because you two are just so amazing and wonderful.

You finally got to meet your Aunt Leah and Uncle Dave who live in Canada. Aunt Leah is your Daddy’s twin just like you two! They came to visit us and we had a wonderful time. Your Auntie and Dad are NOTHING alike. It makes me wonder if you two will be as different as they are. So far Heaten is the outgoing, smiling, giggling baby and Shenzie is the serious, quiet, observing baby. They took us out to dinner at Gordon Biersch Brewery and it was so great to have a night out without babies - sorry guys, but while spending 24/7 with you is great Mommy needs a break every now and again. Thank you Auntie Leah and Uncle Dave for visiting us!!!

Heaten Grey,

You are so full of life! You are getting such a personality…including temper tantrums! When you don’t like something or can’t get something you get frustrated and smack your hands down and scream. You are still so happy (most of the time). In the mornings when I get you out of your crib you give me the biggest smile and start kicking your legs and waving your arms up and down in excitement. You still LOVE your crib and play in there on a daily basis. You are getting more and more vocal. You blow bubbles and make helicopter sounds constantly. You are always “talking” to Shenzie and laughing at her when she cries. You LOVE your big sister. You love to look at her, pound her in the head with your big hands, laugh at her, and you even share your toys (ok, share is a bit of a stretch since she usually just takes your toys).

You are ticklish now and laugh up a storm when I get you naked and tickle you. You love the “Let’s get you naked” song that I sing before your bath….you start smiling and kicking your legs in anticipation of getting naked. You love bath times. You lay in the tub and kick the water all around. Sometimes you startle yourself when the water spashes onto your face and make the funniest faces. For someone who loves to bath you sure hate to have your face washed after eating. You only like warm napkins and cry and turn your head away everytime I try to clean you up.

You started giving Hi-Fives…I put out my hand and you hit it over and over again. Little boy you love to bang your hands on everything. You don’t play with toys you either eat them or hit them.

A couple of weeks ago we tried out the exersaucer again. At first you didn’t quite get it, now you love it and I love it because it gives me 10 minutes peace. I also put you in the jumparoo but you don’t quite know what to do in it. You’ve pretty much outgrown the swing. The last couple of times I’ve put you in there you’ve twisted your body until your head was dangling off. Ut oh. I remember when you were first born I had to put blankets down in the swing because you were too tiny for it.

Look at you now!!

You still love to eat. You are a PIG! I am constantly making food just to keep up with you. You have the most beautiful blue eyes. I wonder if they’re going to stay that color. You have big feet and hands and are about 18 pounds!

Little boy, I love you more than I could ever say. You are so sweet and perfect in everyway.

Love,

Mama.

Shenzie Weather,

My little pop tart. You are so chunky and cute I could just eat you up! Chomp!!

You are my little roly poly. You are so very close to crawling and are starting to get frustrated…you know you want to move, but can’t. Instead you just roll everywhere you want to be. You now roll across the entire room and look up at me like ‘what do I do now’.

You started with the helicopter/raspberry bubbles too. You are pretty quiet for the most part, but once you start babbling, screaming, or laughing watch out. You can be VERY loud when you want to be.

You also love to be naked and giggle up a storm when I tickle your neck and belly. Your whole face lights up when you smile. You have a very expressive face and even though I have to work hard to get the smiles they are so worth it when I do.

Last week you got your first tooth! I was so excited for you. I still can’t believe you are old enough to have a tooth. I thought Heaten would be you to the teeth, but you tricked us all! You bit my finger today and man that little sucker is SHARP!

You are certainly a chunky monkey, but you have very little hands and feet. You are so graceful and gentle with your movements, I love to watch you. Your new thing is playing with my necklace while I rock and sing your nap/nighttime songs. You also started crossing your feet all of the time, just like a little lady.

You are getting so much better at naps and bedtime. For a couple of weeks it was rather rocky, but now I sing you the ABC’s and Twinkle, Twinkle. You lay down on your tummy, play with your stuffed animal, stick your thumb in your mouth and fall asleep. Ahhhh, we love sleep. You still wake your brother up every morning at 5:15am, but I still have hope that one day you will sleep later.

You love to take your brother’s toys. If he has something you want it even if you are playing with the same exact toy.

You are such a picky eater now. I don’t know what happened, but one day you just started refusing vegetables unless they are mixed with fruit. Now you eat the grossest combinations of food….peaches and squash (not so bad), applesauce and green beans (ewww), peas and pears (double ewww). When your Daddy feeds you both he gets you VERY messy…and I am a tad crazy when it comes to you guys being clean so you can imagine how much I cringe when you look like this after meals.

You make me smile and laugh everyday little girl. I love you to bits and bits and pieces. I just want to squeeze you and never let go!!!

Love,

Mama

I’d be rich!

 Ok, well not really rich. A million dollars just isn’t what it used to be. Nowadays unless you are a multi-bulti millionaire you are not rich. Like when $100 used to seem like a lot and now it is teeny tiny potatos. Anyhow….I’m sure like me, most of you play the “What would I do with a million dollars” game. Well, now it is more like “What would I do with 5 million or 10 million dollars?” Before we had babies my answer was always buy a house in San Diego or some other wonderful part of California and Poof, just like that the million was gone. Now I would buy my dream house…..the house that I obsess over, the house that I dream about, the house that I decorate in my mind.  My Dream House. Oh house how I love thee. Wouldn’t the kids have the best time ever in that GIGANTIC yard. We could have a HUGE swingset, a sandbox, trampoline, and jacuzzi. And that house…..the wonderful things I could do in that house. A music room for our guitars, our piano, and Jeff’s future drum set. A studio for photography. A den/library to house all of our books and the many, many computers we have. Oh, oh! And a pool table!!! And we could have a boat to cruise around in the lake that is RIGHT OUT OUR BACK DOOR! Now if only somebody would give us $400,000 we’d be set!! Anyone?

Oh yeah…Mom, when reading this just ignore the fact that my dream house is in Canada and your grandbabies are going to be little Canadians. =)