Lately I’ve been feeling just that. Overwhelmed. I’m a control freak and I feel like I do not have control over anything. I realize there are more important things than a clean house and folded laundry….but when my house is dirty and the laundry sits in the dryer all week I feel very frazzled. There is just SO much to do on top of taking care of two babies. The floors, the laundry, cleaning bathrooms, tubs, kitchens, balancing checkbook, paying bills, eating, feeding, finding time to shower, throw some makeup on. It goes on and on and on and it never stops.
The babies are at a very challenging age where they get frustrated very easily and cry a lot. Some days I just want them older so I don’t have to hear the constant fussing. I have to stop, take a deep breath and try my hardest not to wish time away. They will get there and when they do I’ll be wishing for these days back. They are so much fun, but so draining and tiring. I feel like I have no time to myself. When they do go down for naps at the same time the last thing I want to do is clean so I watch TIVO, read, update here, surf the net and then feel guilty for not cleaning. Haha. Psycho!
There is no break from being a mom. You are on call 24/7. Most days that is fine…some days I want to run away for a weekend to refresh my mind, body, and soul. I love my babies with all of my being, but man oh man sometimes I can’t wait for their bedtime. Although this week I am dreading the nights because once again my little Shenzie is waking at 3am crying and yelling MUMMMMMMMM. I’ve been up from 3a-5a for the past two nights and let me tell you, it gets old. When you’re past the sleep deprivation stage it is hard to go back. Hopefully she is in some weird phase and it will end soon. *Fingers crossed*. I feel like things will be so much easier when they are walking. I know it will be hard to keep them out of trouble, but I’m hoping the new freedom will bring less frustrations and happier babies.
On a positive note our weather has been so beautiful it has been wonderful. If we had this weather all of the time I wouldn’t be so gung ho to move away. Shenzie got to wear her new tights today…isn’t she a doll…..
Proof of the major fussy….
Of course if he’s being held he is happy…
November 12th, 2007 at 7:20 am
Hug for you, (((Lesley))). I know what you mean about wishing they were older. In our case, that would mean Mason wouldn’t be crawling at top speed to throw around the dog’s food and play in her water. Also, I wouldn’t be afraid of him pushing open the screen door and falling out of the house. I’m so glad there are so many sweet things that outweigh the baby annoyances.
She looks so pretty in her tights! I heart your brown-clad babies!
Where are you thinking of moving to? Asheville, NC with me? :o)
November 12th, 2007 at 9:05 am
So sorry to hear you are having a rough time. Walking does make a lot of things easier… once they can walk, it’s easier to understand what they want. But there are still tough whiny days and as I unfortunately found out this weekend, sometimes you are delayed getting out of the house by an hour because of a TANTRUM!
November 12th, 2007 at 10:01 am
I’m so sorry! Sounds like that’s going around the twin world these days. I hope
that you can find some time to yourself. Perhaps if you had more regular “me time”
you could then use other time to gain some control (and notice I say “some”!) over
other things. I find that after the kiddos go to bed I should be doing house projects
and work I brought home but I often veg in front of the TV instead, because it’s my
first me moment (though I have work moments which aren’t me per se, but at least
involve being away from tiny needy things =)
November 12th, 2007 at 10:22 am
Hmmmm, did you somehow read my thoughts? I could have written that exact post. I hate wishing my children older and being in any way dissatisfied with my life too, but sweet jeebus, there are some days/weeks that Never. End.
Hang in there.
November 12th, 2007 at 10:40 am
You know we have been having days like this. For the past two nights both babies have been waking up several times a night. Last night Karter woke up throwing a fit. I went in and checked on him. He was in need of nothing so I went back to bed and listened to his fit over the monitor. Thankfully he didn’t wake his brother that time. To add to all that my husband left yesterday for a buisness trip and will be gone 6 days, this is the first time since thier birth he has had to leave. I have a feeling i’m going to be even more tired than I usually am. Hope it gets better soon, but know that your are not alone in your feelings. I feel and do the same thing sometimes.
November 12th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Aw, Lesley — hang in there! They are frustrated because they want to walk and it
will be a blast when they both can. The crying bouts are hard; we still have them.
I dread Tuesdays because it’s the day I don’t have a car and feel stuck and they
must, too, because that’s when they cry the most. I guess I’m learning to just
deal with the sound of it. As long as I’m doing my best and trying hard, and their
needs are met or I’ve tried to meet their needs — that’s enough for me.
Then again, I never clean when they are napping and only do that when they are
awake. You’ll find ways to work that in when they are mobile. That’s what I do.
It will never be clean the way you want it to be clean that’s for sure.
November 14th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
Goll. I think it must be the weather or something. We’re doing it our house, too.
Completely sucks!
November 16th, 2007 at 6:42 pm
Lol. Frazzled?! An understatement. I’m actually posting on the very
subject. Most days I barely have time to breath. Always running. Find
myself forgetting things more now than ever.
I don’t want to bust your bubble but the crying, fussing and whinning doesn’t
go away. Now at almost 2 1/2 my girls will pick at one another
or g-d forbid fight over the same damn toy and just cry for no reason.
Some days are harder than others and yes there are those days where they just
about push me over the edge.
Yeah, we are on 24/7. No breaks. Ever. It’s exhausting, but I know
none of us would want it any other way. Right?! Right? I’m totally behind
you….