Lately I’ve been feeling just that. Overwhelmed. I’m a control freak and I feel like I do not have control over anything. I realize there are more important things than a clean house and folded laundry….but when my house is dirty and the laundry sits in the dryer all week I feel very frazzled.  There is just SO much to do on top of taking care of two babies. The floors, the laundry, cleaning bathrooms, tubs, kitchens, balancing checkbook, paying bills, eating, feeding, finding time to shower, throw some makeup on. It goes on and on and on and it never stops.

The babies are at a very challenging age where they get frustrated very easily and cry a lot. Some days I just want them older so I don’t have to hear the constant fussing. I have to stop, take a deep breath and try my hardest not to wish time away. They will get there and when they do I’ll be wishing for these days back. They are so much fun, but so draining and tiring. I feel like I have no time to myself. When they do go down for naps at the same time the last thing I want to do is clean so I watch TIVO, read, update here, surf the net and then feel guilty for not cleaning. Haha. Psycho!

There is no break from being a mom. You are on call 24/7. Most days that is fine…some days I want to run away for a weekend to refresh my mind, body, and soul. I love my babies with all of my being, but man oh man sometimes I can’t wait for their bedtime. Although this week I am dreading the nights because once again my little Shenzie is waking at 3am crying and yelling MUMMMMMMMM. I’ve been up from 3a-5a for the past two nights and let me tell you, it gets old. When you’re past the sleep deprivation stage it is hard to go back. Hopefully she is in some weird phase and it will end soon. *Fingers crossed*. I feel like things will be so much easier when they are walking. I know it will be hard to keep them out of trouble, but I’m hoping the new freedom will bring less frustrations and happier babies.

On a positive note our weather has been so beautiful it has been wonderful. If we had this weather all of the time I wouldn’t be so gung ho to move away. Shenzie got to wear her new tights today…isn’t she a doll…..

Proof of the major fussy….

Of course if he’s being held he is happy…

I had the honor of photographing my new nieces and nephews. Aren’t they absolutely perfect.

Marlee Kay

Haylee Lynn

Carter Bradley

**You can click on their names to see their entire galleries.

While I HATE Las Vegas summers I absolutely love the fall, spring, and even winter. It is November 8th and 81 degrees today. Granted we are a little warm for this time of year, but even at the norm it would be in the 70’s. While the rest of you were playing outside and having a blast this summer we were trapped indoors with 115 degree weather. While the rest of you are trapped indoors with snow, ice, and freezing weather we will be having a blast outside. Neener neener. Ha, come next summer that ‘Neener neener’ will totally be back to haunt me. =)

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Shenzie is still taking steps and getting better and better at walking. I can’t wait for walking…while things will be harder they will also be much easier. No more carrying babies. No more dirty blackened pants, feet, knees, and arms. Shoes! I can’t wait for shoes! Today I noticed when Shenzie crawls and comes to an obstacle she crawls around it…Heaten just tries to shove it out of his way…even if it is his sister. He tries to push her over to get around her.

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Time to start Christmas shopping already. It is my favorite holiday and my birthday, but I HATE Christmas music in stores. That is SO annoying. Jeff tries to sing Christmas songs all year long…ummm…NO! No! and NO! Kind of like HO! HO! HO!

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Ruby Gloom has retired from www.lesleysmeshly.com. I updated the site and hopefully if babies allow I can keep updating it. You can see the new design here.

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Kisses for Mommy

Dear Shenzie and Heaten,

It seems crazy that one month has past since you turned a year. All of the hype to get to the year and now it’s come and gone and you’re 13 months! Lucky thirteen. Before we had our emergency C-Section we had planned on having you Friday, October 13, 2006. Everyone thought we were crazy, but we thought it was cool. Instead you were born on the 2nd, which is just as cool because it’s your birthday.

I can’t get over how much you two are growing and learning. Your Daddy and I sit around and reminisce about when you were little blob babies and how much you’ve changed. Boy have you changed. Every month you get bigger and better! I love being home with you every day so I can see how amazing you both are and share with you all of your new experiences. It is so fun to see you learn something and then remember it and do it later. It blows my mind.
I can’t get over how lucky I am to have two wonderful, fun, beautiful, crazy babies.

Dear Shenzie,

This has been a big month for you. On October 27 you took your first steps. It was SO MUCH FUN! You got all excited and giddyand of course we did too! We clapped and cheered and laughed with you. Since then you’ve learned to pull up on just about everything and love to “walk”. Pretty soon you won’t need to hold my hand and that will be a great day indeed!

You’re still holding strong with 5 teeth and thankfully you’ve stopped trying to bite us. You are still very feisty, but have stopped pulling your brothers hair every 5 seconds. I think with your new found independence crawling, pulling up, and taking steps you are less aggressive….although yesterday you did rip a chunk out of my inner lip…OUCH! *Edited to add…I lied about the biting…today while I was eating Doritos you tried to lick them out of my mouth (gross, I know)…in the process of licking my tongue you tried to chomp down on my lip…good thing I’m quicker than you.

You are so happy these days. The days of ‘Serious Shenzie’ are long gone. You are still shy with strangers and still cry at loud noises, but I’m sure it is just a matter of time before that changes as well. Lately you’ve been very taken with your Daddy. You want him to hold you and when he leaves your site you start to fuss. You also love Grandpa. You won’t give Grandma the time of day…but watch out when Grandpa comes around…you will let him hold you and even give him kisses!

You are still a little crazy. You lash out in anger, frustration, and sometimes just playing. During bath time tonight I wouldn’t let you pull up on the side of the tub and boy, oh boy, were you pissed at me! I kept setting you back down on your butt and saying “Stop, only on your butt”…over and over and over. I rested my arm in the water so you couldn’t get to the side of the tub. You let out a huge screech, thrashed your legs around splashing water everywhere and gave me the evil eye. Then you raised your eyebrows like ‘ha, you think that can stop me’ and went to the other side of the tub and pulled up. I have a feeling raising you is going to be full of power struggles just like this one. Grandma says what comes around goes around and since I was the exact same way as a toddler it is the mothers curse that I have to deal with it now. Thanks Mom.

When you’re not being feisty you are very loving. You cuddle into my chest when I sing you lullabies at naps and nighttime. You have started singing with me…and by singing I mean humming, babbling, and making funny noises. You are a little mimic..you love to repeat everything I say..guess it’s time I stopped cussing around you huh. Every day when I talk to your Daddy midday I have new things to tell him about what you’re doing or what you’ve said. Every day you amaze me with how wonderfully perfect you are.

I love you Shenzie Buggle.

Love,
Mum (how you say mama these days)

Dear Heaten,

You are still the emotional baby…only now you have a crazy temper to add to the crying, fussing, laughing, smiling mix. You scream SO LOUD…it is this high pitched screech….all day long. The minute you can’t do something or I won’t give you something you start screeching. You scrunch up your nose and let loose. Your lungs are in perfect working order thats for sure. Then once you’ve said your piece you’re over it.

You are such a good sleeper. You sleep from 7 until 6 (and on good days 6:30). You go down for both naps with zero crying (99% of the time) and wake with a smile. Our new game is me crawling into your room after your naps growling and getting you through your crib bars. You love it…you laugh and reach your arm out through the crib and get me back. It is so fun.

You are still scooting your way along, but crawling is just around the corner. Your absolute favorite of course is standing and cruising all around. You’re the most happy when you’re cruising from one piece of furniture to the next. Some days it feels like all I do is sit behind you and Shenzie while you cruise around helping you get from one place to the next. I’ll be happy when you’re both walking and I know you’ll both be happier as well.

Lately you’ve taken a bigger interest in Shenzie. You laugh at her and chase after her. The other night while you were drinking your bottles you reached over and stoked her arm for a really long time. My heart melted. I love to see you play together and love that she makes you so happy.

Your newest obsession is opening and closing things. The lid to the wipes, the kitchen cupboards, and your bedroom door (or any door for that matter). You go into your room and close the door and then wait for me to open it again. You laugh hysterically every single time which is so funny. We do this over and over and over again every day. I’ve had to start gating the kitchen because you’ve been pulling things out of the cupboards. The other day you broke the blender bowl…there was glass everywhere. Luckily you didn’t get hurt, but it was still scary. You are very curious. You get into everything. Daddy is in the process of baby proofing the rest of the kitchen, but it is slow going. Upstairs in your play room is the best place. I can close all of the doors to the bedrooms and bathroom and let you both play with no worries over what you’re getting into.

You love to feed yourself with your spoon. You get most of the yogurt or applesauce in your mouth, but sometimes you miss and food ends up in your hair, ears, and nose. You are the pickiest eater. If you don’t like the way something looks you won’t even try it. If I try to sneak it into your mouth you scream, cry, and spit it back out. One day you’ll like something and the next won’t touch it with a ten foot pole. Your favorite are waffles with cream cheese and cubed cheese.

Your hair is so long I had to trim a bit of it again…everywhere we go people comment on how much hair you have and how cute you and your sister are. I agree! You are both so beautiful and perfect I couldn’t imagine a single day without you. Every morning I look forward to seeing your smiling little face and hearing you laugh. I love you Heaten Grey.

Love,
Mama

I am a little late taking the babies one year photos , but they are finally done. Since I don’t have time for a proper post I’ll cheat with cute photos.

 Shenzie has her finger CONSTANTLY in her mouth…every single picture has the finger.

More photos found here.

Meep Meep….get out the way! 

Heaten’s first time in a swing…he looks thrilled doesn’t he?

Weeeeeeeeeeee! Higher, faster Mama!