There are two TV programs the babies are allowed to watch on PBS….Signing Time and It’s a Big Big World. I usually watch the shows with the babies and since we watch the same episodes over and over I know most of the songs. I know all the words and signs to the intro song on Signing Time and I confess, I love to sing and sign along. Another confession. I really like It’s a Big Big World. I love Disney and Pixar movies…my favorites being The Little Mermaid and Finding Nemo. I LOVE Crush, the surfer turtle. The voice of Snook reminds me of Crush which is probably why I was drawn to him in the first place(well, that and the fact that he is a total stoner). Jeff says It’s a Big Big World is hippie dippie which is probably why I like it so much. They sing about being kind to Mother Earth and only use what you need. They sing about how we have to share the Earth so don’t abuse it. Great stuff! The babies LOVE LOVE LOVE Big World. They ask to watch it and when it is on they watch it in a trance. They especially love the songs. The songs are the best!!! If they sell a cd I am so buying it.

Sweet as sugar (when she wants to be!)

My little Trudge Monster

I’m off to San Diego tomorrow. Wish Jeff luck with the babies. He’s on his own with them for 4 days. Dun Dun DUN!! Hopefully when I come back he won’t be stark raving mad, because as we all know…kids can do that to you!

Shenzie loves to play in water and dirt…mix them together and what do you get?!?

Somehow, despite playing in the same water and same dirt as Shenze, Heaten comes out dry and clean while Shenzie ends up soaked and muddy.

This week will be full of lots of pictures and little words. I am once again having anxiety over leaving the babies. Next weekend is my long weekend getaway to San Diego. I have lots and lots to do before I go. Control freak anyone?

Attempt number 2 to get their 18 month photos…..no luck.

Mommy and Me Edition:

When we first found out we were having twins I had really mixed feelings. Not about having two babies, for that I was very excited, nervous, and overjoyed. I had mixed feelings about wanting boys, girls, or one of each. Of course I will say that I would have been over the moon with any combination and am very glad that I have two healthy babies. I am very close to my sisters and wanted two girls so they would have that same friendship and bond. Jeff really wanted a boy and since he is the last of the Barrs. It is good we had one to carry on the Barr name. When we found out if was a boy and a girl I was so excited. The best of both worlds. While Shenzie probably won’t have a sister she will always have Heaten and I hope they stay close and love each other always.

Having twins is everything thing I thought it would be and nothing how I thought it would be. Having so much love and joy is everything I had hoped it would be and so much more. When I look into their little faces I couldn’t imagine loving anything or anyone as much as I do my little babies. The sheer amount of energy it takes keeping up with two babies is sometimes overwhelming. The feelings of guilt over not being enough Mom for two babies eats at me sometimes. The fear of having two screamers out in the world sometimes keeps me from doing things I wouldn’t think twice about if I only had one baby to worry about.

They are so very very different. Yes they did share my belly at the same time, but that is the extent of it. They couldn’t be more different if they tried. I have the unique perspective of having a boy and a girl at the same time so it is easy to compare the similarities and differences of gender. They are both typical toddlers that love to run around, play outside, throw rocks, get dirty, cry and laugh a lot. Heaten is very laid back, easy going, sweet, and gentle. Shenzie is the exact opposite. Why walk when you can run?!? Why sit when you can play. She never stops moving and runs everywhere she wants to be. I am sure my Mom is shaking her head laughing because I might as well be describing myself when I talk about Shenzie. Heaten has tantrums where he will sit down and then fall back very slowly onto his elbow and lower his head to the floor and whine. Shenzie will stomp her feet as fast as she can, run around while crying, and then attack. When she is upset her first instinct is to lash out and unfortunately Heaten is usually withing striking distance.

The older they get the more I am noticing the gender differences. Lately Shenzie has started playing will dolls and loves to dress her bear in doll clothes. I bought a little doggie outfit that her bear now wears daily. She feeds her bear, she gives him drinkie, and she dresses him. At 18 months her little mothering instincts are already showing themselves. I find this so fascinating. Heaten on the other hand has never once played with a doll, dressed or undressed anything, and doesn’t share his snackie with his doggie. He loves to scream and run around and do head stands with no hands. Dadddy bought him his first remote control truck and he’s hooked.

I’m so lucky that I get the experience of having both a boy and a girl. Watching them grow and learn in such different ways is so much fun. I love my little Clammies so much sometimes I feel like I might burst with love.

I’ve been reading a lot of good books lately. Here is an updated 2008 Book List for the nerds like me out there. =) I just finished Beautiful Lies by Lisa Unger. I couldn’t wait to get to the end, and then I was sad that I was done. That is the sign of a really good book.

2008 Book Listing

January

The Good Guy ¤ Dean Koontz **** ½
Blood Thirsty ¤ Marshall Karp *****
Beyond Reach ¤ Karin Slaughter *****
Monster ¤ Jonathan Kellerman *** ½
The Shotgun Rule ¤ Charlie Houston ****

February

Hard Case ¤ Dan Simmons *****
Half the Blood of Brooklyn ¤ Charlie Houston **** ½
Hard Freeze ¤ Dan Simmons *****
See Jane Die ¤ Erica Spindler ****
Hard As Nails ¤ Dan Simmons *****

March

You’ve Been Warned ¤ James Patterson ** ½
Quickie ¤ James Patterson **
Killer Takes All ¤ Erica Spindler *** ½
The Other Boleyn Girl ¤ Philippa Gregory *****
Odd Mom Out ¤ Jane Porter **** ½
Water For Elephants ¤ Sara Gruen *****
Lemons Never Lie ¤ Richard Stark ***

April

The Other Mother ¤ Gwendolen Gross **** ½
Beautiful Lies ¤ Lisa Unger *****

Easter Basket on the Head Edition:

Bonus Love You Edition:

My little Shenzie Buggle,

This past week you have exploded with new things and before I forget how funny you were at this age I wanted to write it down. Some of the funniest new things are you use of words like owwww and ewwwww. You will pinch my arm and then say owwww. Or purposely run into something and then say owwwww. Ewwww is a new one your Daddy taught you. Brother’s dog is ewwwww. You will sniff his dog and then wrinkle your little nose and say ewwww. Cutest thing I ever saw!

Every night while I sing you your nighttime songs you start making the eat sign. You have quickly learned that if you ask for something you can prolong bedtime. It is great to see you learn things so quickly…too bad this isn’t something I want you to know.

You are addicted to bathing. Every morning when we get you dressed you go running to the bathroom and whine bath, bath. If you had your way you would bathe 3x a day! You also love to run around naked. After bath time we now have naked time. Only one slight problem with naked time….pee on the floor. Oops.

Most days we have a battle of wills. You want something, I say no, you do something else to get a reaction. Today at the park you wanted to run into the parking lot. I say no you pick up a handful of rocks, look right at me, and eat them. Speaking of parks and eating….you have now eaten a chewed up piece of gum you found at the park (EWWWW) and even EWWWWIER is the nasty cigarette butt you put in your mouth today. Gross!

Most mornings we go to the park by our house. I get my exercise by running with the wagon and you love the park so it’s a win win situation. The last couple of days have been REALLY windy so we weren’t able to make it to the park. The last couple of days you have had complete meltdowns wanting Baboo. Today you cried for 30 minutes Babbbbooooooo while holding out your hands.

Me: Baboo…brother? Do you want brother? He is sleeping.
You: Baboooooooooo
Me: Bubbles? Let’s go outside and get the bubbles.
You: Babbbbbooooooooo
Me: Bear? He’s right here
You: BabbbbooooOOOO
Me: Bath? Do you want to take a bath? Book? Do you want to me to read to you?
You: BaBoOOOOOOOO
Me: Drinky? Daddy? Snackie?
You: BABBBBBOOOOOOOOO

Finally after 30 minutes of this you calmed down and life went on. Imagine my surprise when we make a spontaneous trip to the park and you start yelling excitedly BABBBBOOOOOO. I don’t know how park in any way, shape, or form sounds like baboo or why you think that means park, but it does and it is. Baboo is park and I am SO glad I figured that one out because let me tell you….one baby having tantrums is more than enough.

I love you crazy little girl,
Love,
Mama

Every since the babies were born I’ve had a little secret fear of going new places alone. When they were little I would time my outings right after they ate so they would be content and happy. I was always fearful they would both need held and comforted at the same time and there is only one me. Now that they are older and I can soothe them both at the same time I don’t have to time my outings so perfectly. I can bring snacks, sippies, and toys to keep them entertained and occupied. It is very rare that we are out someplace and we have a full blown meltdown (so very rare that I can’t even remember the last time). Most places we go are loud anyhow so if one does whine or fuss it isn’t a big deal. Not like 50 people staring right at you while your child has a meltdown and you are so embarrassed you want to run away.

Today I had to exchange our HD DVR to the cable company. I’ve never been to the cable company. I do most things online and if I’ve ever had a problem they’ve sent a tech out. Thank goodness I never have to go back there! When I called to get the address I found it wasn’t in the best part of town and was kind of hesitant to bring the babies to “the ghetto”, but I really wanted to watch ‘How I Met Your Mother’ and ‘The Big Bang Theory’ so I sucked it up and went. I busted out the double stroller, the bag of goodies, and the giant DVR to exchange. I push the double stroller with one hand while holding the giant DVR with the other. I get to the doors and there is no handicap opener and since I’m down to one hand to push the stroller I can’t open it. There are two ladies smoking right next to me who just look at me as I stand in front of the doors. Luckily some guy leaving holds the door for me. Then I see the second set of doors and want to turn around and run away.

Through the door windows I see loads and loads of people. So many people that I can barely fit the stroller into the building. I swear, it was just like the DMV. Rows and rows full of chairs filled with stinky people with a line to get your number. My number, D594. They were currently on D577, so not that bad…until I realize they are also calling A, B, C, E, and F numbers mixed in with the D’s. I really want to turn around at this time….but the TV won.

I stay. I wheel us back to the furthest corner out of the way and start handing out snacks. Then an opening becomes available in the chair section so I snatch it up and push the stroller against the wall as far as it will go leaving barely enough walk room around us….but really, I don’t care at this point. They can all go around. We’ve already been there for 30 minutes or more and our number was getting closer. And then……Meltdown Mania 2008. Heaten started crying, yelling, and trying to hit Shenzie. I try snacks, he throws them. I try drink, he is having none of it. I try keys and chapstick which are normally instant crier stoppers. Not this time. He continues to cry, hit, and push Shenzie’s head so I get him out of the stroller and try to calm him. I glance over and notice a lady sitting across from me glaring at me. She makes eye contact with me I’m guessing to let me know her displeasure. Then he gets really loud and a couple of other people look over and quickly look away. Not mean lady though. She keeps glaring at me each time making eye contact and giving me that look. You know, that look that non mothers give when they see a crying baby….that look that says ’shut your kid up’. Finally our number is next so I put Heaten back in the stroller and give him his drink. He takes a few sips and then throws it in front of the stroller next to the mean ladies foot. Instead of bending down to pick it up she moves her foot out of the way and looks up at me with that look again. Seriously?!?!? I really want to tell her off, but she is a big girl and even though I’m scrappy I’m sure she could kick my ass.

I must say it was worth it to get me out of my comfort zone and make me realize that a crying baby and 50 people staring at you really isn’t the end of the world. If only I could have deflated mean ladies tires or something (maybe spit on her shoe), then it would have been totally worth it!

And really, you must have a heart of stone to glare meanly at these cute little faces, crying or not!!

You know you’ve eaten wayyyyyyyyyy to much when you gain two pounds in one night! Popcorn (LOTS of buttery popcorn..mmmmm), Junior Mints, Payday, Pepsi, PF Changs, and Hersheys Kisses are apparently very fattening. Who knew? Thanks baby for a wonderful Anniversary date!!!

Despite eating like a starved person this weekend I am proud to say I am below my pre-pregnancy weight!! Nothing looks quite like it did before, but I’m guessing I’ll just have to live with that. A couple of girls I know were saying that after they lost all their baby weight they noticed their butts disappeared. Wherever they went to mine surely joined them. Gone is my big old booty….and strangely enough I miss it. A jello jiggly booty is not nearly as much fun!!

Weight Watchers Week 8 Weight Loss: 1 pound
Total Lost: 13 pounds

My girlfriend Julie came to visit from Hood River…I miss you Jules!!!