When we first found out we were having twins I had really mixed feelings. Not about having two babies, for that I was very excited, nervous, and overjoyed. I had mixed feelings about wanting boys, girls, or one of each. Of course I will say that I would have been over the moon with any combination and am very glad that I have two healthy babies. I am very close to my sisters and wanted two girls so they would have that same friendship and bond. Jeff really wanted a boy and since he is the last of the Barrs. It is good we had one to carry on the Barr name. When we found out if was a boy and a girl I was so excited. The best of both worlds. While Shenzie probably won’t have a sister she will always have Heaten and I hope they stay close and love each other always.
Having twins is everything thing I thought it would be and nothing how I thought it would be. Having so much love and joy is everything I had hoped it would be and so much more. When I look into their little faces I couldn’t imagine loving anything or anyone as much as I do my little babies. The sheer amount of energy it takes keeping up with two babies is sometimes overwhelming. The feelings of guilt over not being enough Mom for two babies eats at me sometimes. The fear of having two screamers out in the world sometimes keeps me from doing things I wouldn’t think twice about if I only had one baby to worry about.
They are so very very different. Yes they did share my belly at the same time, but that is the extent of it. They couldn’t be more different if they tried. I have the unique perspective of having a boy and a girl at the same time so it is easy to compare the similarities and differences of gender. They are both typical toddlers that love to run around, play outside, throw rocks, get dirty, cry and laugh a lot. Heaten is very laid back, easy going, sweet, and gentle. Shenzie is the exact opposite. Why walk when you can run?!? Why sit when you can play. She never stops moving and runs everywhere she wants to be. I am sure my Mom is shaking her head laughing because I might as well be describing myself when I talk about Shenzie. Heaten has tantrums where he will sit down and then fall back very slowly onto his elbow and lower his head to the floor and whine. Shenzie will stomp her feet as fast as she can, run around while crying, and then attack. When she is upset her first instinct is to lash out and unfortunately Heaten is usually withing striking distance.
The older they get the more I am noticing the gender differences. Lately Shenzie has started playing will dolls and loves to dress her bear in doll clothes. I bought a little doggie outfit that her bear now wears daily. She feeds her bear, she gives him drinkie, and she dresses him. At 18 months her little mothering instincts are already showing themselves. I find this so fascinating. Heaten on the other hand has never once played with a doll, dressed or undressed anything, and doesn’t share his snackie with his doggie. He loves to scream and run around and do head stands with no hands. Dadddy bought him his first remote control truck and he’s hooked.
I’m so lucky that I get the experience of having both a boy and a girl. Watching them grow and learn in such different ways is so much fun. I love my little Clammies so much sometimes I feel like I might burst with love.
April 24th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
I think about these things all the time! It sounds like H&S do have some sex
stereotyped traits, but also other characteristics. Like Shenzie always wanting to
run, never sitting still, etc., to me sounds a bit more like a boy stereotype.
And it’s so interesting with the doll play and stuff, to know how much it is
what they choose to do, versus subtle ways we might encourage one type of behavior
or another (does Shenzie get a remote control car?). At our house, S does seem
more into dolls than J at the moment, though J also likes changing their diapers
and feeding them (though S gently puts bottles in their mouths, and J bangs bottles
on their faces). So hard to know what causs differences.
April 24th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
What a sweet post! It’s amazing that they can be so small but have such big personalities. I love it
April 25th, 2008 at 6:00 am
The differences between girls & Boys is amazing, especially with how young they start to show it! How much fun that you get to experience 1 of each, especially at the same time, you will really get to see the differences! They are too much fun! We has fun playing, thanks for coming to see us!
April 25th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
I couldn’t have said it better myself. I am beyond lucky to have a boy and a girl. I couldn’t imagine anything different.
April 25th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Your Shenzie sounds like my Gabrielle, she even makes those faces that Shenzie makes. There are definite gender differences and we have a unique opportunity to see them in living color.
April 25th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
As Eva said, I too wonder how much of the gender differences is/are learned
and encouraged behavior based on “typical” gender stereotypes.
I’m probably not making much sense right now with my choice of words..my
brain is fried from hours of schoolwork =)
We’re in the same boat as Dave is the last in his family to carry on the Ross
name..makes me sad.