Call for desperate measures. Normally the babies do not get any candy, chocolate, or other sweets ( I know Dad, this is child abuse ). BUT (this is a very recent but) I’ve found when I REALLY need to get something done I can plop the babies down, give them a couple of chocolate chips or chocolate covered raisins and they’ll be happy long enough for me to run around like a chicken with my head dangling off. This is a serious problem…I now have to sneak and eat my raisins (or other candy) because they know how yummy delicious they are and want them if they see them. Oops. This is the start of my closet chocolate addiction. I will have to hide in the closet to eat any chocolate!!!! I tried to tell Jeff to put a child safety latch on my candy drawer, but he refused so I may also have to find a better hiding spot for ALL OF THE CANDY! Holy SHIT do you see this candy drawer. It is almost a little embarrassing. Almost, if it weren’t all so YUMMY!

Let’s take an inventory shall we…….

Andes Mints - YUMMM
Two bags of Twizzler Bites
Sandwich bag of Peanut M&M’s
2 boxes of Milk Duds plus one sandwich bag of Milk Duds
Sandwich bag of Junior Mints
1/2 of a KING size Caramello
Sandwich bag of Hershey’s Hugs/Kisses
and tons of gum/mints/hard candies

And the sad thing is that is not even all of it….don’t forget the ENORMOUS container of chocolate covered raisins that are 1/2 gone now. I really have to wonder why I’m not gaining weight with the amount of crap I’m consuming.

So later in the afternoon that I bribed the babies with candy we had color time. The babies are still in the ‘if you’re not looking we will eat the crayons’ phase and of course I wasn’t looking. Next thing I know Shenzie comes running over to me with her mouth covered in some sort of dark ick. Me, being the great detective that I am deduced she had eaten a crayon. Not just any crayon mind you. The brown crayon that broke, that I THREW IN THE GARBAGE, where she got it out thinking it was a chocolate covered raisin. I chased her around and had to pry the “raisin” from her mouth. Poor Poor Girl, don’t you know that chocolate tastes 100x better than a silly brown wax crayon?!?

Sometimes I almost feel guilty for how spoiled I am. Only sometimes though. =) My husband spoils me rotten and although I love it (who wouldn’t) I do have a tinge of guilt. This past weekend he took the Crazies off my hands for a huge chunk of Saturday and the entire morning Sunday. Talk about a great break!! I really needed the break to recharge my brain for the coming week. So far my Lesley Makeover is working. I am being more patient, calm, and understanding. No more yelling, getting overly frustrated, and bye bye depression!!!! I am hiding the scary monster in the closet, hopefully for a long, LONG time. Without Jeff’s amazing support, love, patience and understanding with my crazy I would be lost. Thank you baby for being so absolutely wonderful to me and our crazy babies!!!!

And to make the weekend even better hubby twisted my arm until I said Uncle and finally bought Adobe Photoshop CS3. I have been working on Adobe Photoshop 7 and have wanted to upgrade for quite some time now and due to the twisting of the arm I now am the proud owner of CS3. Yiipppeeee Skiiipppppeeeeee!!!!!

The best Dadddy in the world!!!

Hypothesis:

Having a child kills off brain cells. Lots of them.

Experiment:

Attempting (note the word attempt) to make banana/apple mini muffins. I bought the cutest little mini muffin pan thinking it would be a great sized snack for the Crazies. They love to “help” me in the kitchen so our new play is cooking or doing the dishes.

I had all of the ingredients out and my recipe in front of me, what could possibly go wrong?!? Enter crazy toddlers. With all of my “help” it made things a bit chaotic (understatement of the week). Trying to keep the raw eggs from little fingers. Trying to keep the glass bowl from tiny hands. Trying to keep the muffin pan out of “helping hands” reach was quite an undertaking. But I did it! I successfully made yummy banana/apple muffins for the babies. It wasn’t until I got the pan into the oven that I realized I missed a key ingredient.

Oops. I had the butter outside to get soft. Laughing hysterically I called my mom to ask how horrible the muffins would be with no butter. Pretty awful was the conclusion. They don’t look awful.

Lets put it to the test…..

Yum! Not bad at all Mommy.

Conclusion:

Yes. Having a baby definitely kills off brain cells. Important brain cells. And muffins with no butter aren’t all that bad.

Hypothesis Part Two:

Having multiple children kills off even more brain cells.

No experiment needed.

Conclusion:

Having multiple children does indeed kill off even more important brain cells.

And speaking of brain cells I think my “mommy” brain killed off some important baby brain cells. It is hot here. Like REALLY hot. Some days 115+ degrees hot. I always cool my car off before putting the babies in. Lately Shenzie has been sweating up a storm and Heaten is really flushed after a car trip. Missing all of those brain cells I never thought twice about it, we live in the desert, it is hot, babies will sweat. Jeff noticed last week that my rear air….the rear air I have cranked to SUPER high is broke. It is not blowing cold, refreshing air….more like hot, gross air. All summer the babies have been melting back there while I sit up front with my nice cool air. Yes, having babies seriously kills off IMPORTANT brain cells.

Not literally, although the thought did cross my mind. Just kidding. Sort of. Let me just say that the past two weeks have been pure hell. I feel like we are drowning and I need to somehow get a life vest to save us. Terrible twos (?), death of doggie, and teething are all making my life miserable. I need a serious attitude adjustment. Over the weekend I made big plans to implement this week, we’ll see if they work.

On a daily basis I am finding myself getting very frustrated, angry, depressed, and generally a moody monster. I don’t even want to be around myself, too bad that’s not an option. I’ve been really struggling with being patient, understanding, and calm. Let’s just say that the constant crying, screaming, whining, fighting, not sleeping, and insane of babies is enough to make anyone a bit loony. Loony is not a fun place to be, especially when there is no end to the crazy baby in site. Being flexible is key to being a good mother and I’m sure you’ve guessed I’m not much of a flexible person. Until now! Ok, not instant like that…more of a Lesley Makeover. I WILL be patient. I WILL be calm. I WILL be understanding. I WILL NOT be crazy.

The babies (and Mama) are out of control lately. Shenzie lashes out at Heaten over the slightest thing and scratches him. I’ve even see her go purposely for the eye area. Not acceptable. She has marked his leg, back, belly, face, and neck. She was in time out constantly, but it didn’t seem to be phasing her in the least. Enter Super Time Out. Thank you so much Laura for your guidance and advice! Super Time Out is time out in her room if we’re upstairs or in the laundry room if we’re downstairs. Instead of her going to her corner for 3 seconds and then coming out raging she has to go in the room with the door closed. She does not like this at all! Super Time Out seems to be working very well for her.

It is hard not to get angry when they hurt you or their sibling. Getting punched in the face isn’t all that fun. You wouldn’t think a little tiny mini person who weighs all of 23 pounds could do any damage, but let me tell you, they are stronger than they look. I love the idea of putting myself in time out to take a breather, but since that is not an option (the babies would really hurt each other if I wasn’t there to stop the madness) I just need to focus on staying calm. I yelled at the babies last week and felt horrible. I’m not a yeller or a spanker and I found myself wanting to do both. Instead of Time Out being TIME OUT! It is now a calm Time Out, let’s take a break and calm down. I feel much better about this approach since I was viewing Time Out as something negative to make them stop bad behavior instead of just a break to encourage good behavior. It’s amazing how much a little attitude adjustment can make such a difference to my sanity.

As far as Heaten is concerned….well, lets just say he found his voice and it isn’t pretty. The tantrums are in full force, pretty much all day. For the most part I ignore them, but OMG they really do wear on me. He hits, cries, hits his head on the hard tile, falls down and refuses to walk, fights pretty much everything. Changing diaper, getting dressed, putting shoes on, bathing, car seats. My life is a battle field right now and I think the babies are winning!!! Time Outs aren’t as effective for Heaten, but I’m hoping if I’m consistent he will eventually “get it”. For now the method that seems to work is redirection when he is hurting Shenzie and ignoring when he is having a tantrum.

The other issue is the death of doggie and the toll it is taking on his sleep. Not pretty. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE swore that 3 or 4 days of crying and he would be good as new. Death of doggie would be a distant memory. Lies! All Lies!!! Two weeks and counting and on a daily basis there is MUCH crying before sleep. Without doggie he just doesn’t know how to soothe himself so instead he cries for at least 15 minutes before every nap. The naps went from 2 hours which was a nice break down to 40 minutes which is NOT a nice break. He then wakes up very unhappy because he is still tired. Nights are a bit better. Usually the crying before bed is only a minute or two, but 3 or 4 nights a week he’ll wake in the middle of the night and cry anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour. I feel like the worst mother in the world for letting him cry, but nothing else has worked. He won’t sleep with me, he won’t be soothed by my presence in his room, he won’t take another lovey. It really, really breaks my heart to hear him cry every. single. day. but there is nothing I can do to help so once again I need to adjust my attitude. Instead of wondering if today is the day where he isn’t going to cry I need to just accept the fact that right now crying is his way of soothing himself to sleep. It may end soon or it may continue for months. I was sitting in room crying along with him which wasn’t healthy for me. I was getting more and more depressed and miserable. Like every other phase, this one will pass and (hopefully soon) be a distant memory.

Being a mother is HARD. I swear you can hear it from every mother out there, but until you experience it you don’t realize just how much it takes on a daily basis. Luckily being a mother is wonderful, beautiful, fun, and special to make up for the crazy hard!!!!

Looking at these sweet little faces you’d never know they were so INSANE CRAZY!

Summer Fun Edition:

First Ice Cream Cones (thanks Drea for the dripstik tip!)

Balloons (Don’t worry D, I’m being VERY careful)!

Swimming!! And fun goggles, Thank you Ethan and Auntie Dara for letting us borrow your cool shark eyes!

First time running through our sprinklers. Big, big hit!!

Soggy, water filled sandbox

It’s all about the act of balancing. You see, if I eat the entire box of Edamame

it will offset the entire box of yummy, chocolate raisins I plan to consume this week.

There are a few stages that I hope never end. For the most part the stages deal with crying, tantrums, hitting, biting, yelling, more crying, yelling, screaming, and not sleeping. I’m more than ready for those stages to disappear…..but every once in awhile a stage comes along that I never want to leave. The cuddles, kisses, hugs, funny little games the babies play together, and the kisses. Lately Heaten has been really giving out kisses. My very, very favorite is when he kisses me, Dada, or Shenzie spontaneously. There is nothing cuter or sweeter than getting a kiss just because or seeing him give affection to sissy. Here are a few random kisses from last week. Luckily I usually have my camera on me or close by!! I love how he holds her arms when he smooches her. They also blow kisses now with a big Muah! I just love my babies!!!

The babies are still infatuated with hats. These are their new “hats”

I love this photo, it looks like he is telling her a secret.

She is trying to get away from his kisses, poor girl, all smothered in love!

I admit that sometimes I am a little….well, there is no other way to say crazy other than crazy. I know this about myself. Jeff (poor guy) knows this about me. Actually, anybody that knows me knows I’m a little crazy. O.C.D. High strung. Simply crazy. When I am stressed my crazy rears its ugly head, and trust me, it is ugly. With the death of Doggie and all of the crying my crazy is in full force. During the day with the even crazier babies I have to be patient, calm, and put my crazy in a little box to be opened later. And then the crazy babies go to bed and I am free to open my little crazy box and play. I am sorry sweetybabycakes…er, I mean Crash! that you married such a crazy person.

My crazy the other night:

Jeff (Crash) and I are on the couch eating dinner after the babies went to bed. After a hard day at work my sweetbabycakes (aka Crash) came home and cooked us dinner. Did I mention that I have the best husband ever! And I really mean EVER! He is waiting for a book to be delivered so he decides to get the mail.

Me: The keys are in my purse. But be sure to put the keys back in my purse when you’re done. I’m always worried you’ll accidentally take my keys to work with you and then we’d be stranded.

Him: I always put them back on the counter. I wouldn’t take them to work. I’ll leave them on the counter like I always do.

Me: Then you’re not taking my keys at all! If you can’t put them back in my purse like I asked you then just forget it!!!!!

Him: Fine, I’ll put them back in your purse when I’m done (sheesh crazy lady).

He goes and gets the mail and comes back in the front door. He stops and looks at me.

Me: God! Grouchy much!!!!!! Why are you such a grump!?!?!

Him: Ummmmmm.

Me: Don’t even pretend like you’re not in a bad mood.

Him: What did I do? I just got the mail and came back in. How could you think that was me being grouchy?

Me: Well, when you looked at me you didn’t smile.

Yes, I am certifiably crazy.

Crazy Mama giving Piggy Back Rides

¤ One day while vegging on the couch eating my Bon Bon’s and watching Oprah (not said sarcastically at all) I watch as Heaten picks up a crumb from the floor (I suppose I should have been cleaning instead of watching TV, but whatever), takes it to the garbage can and throws it away. I give him another crumb and ask him to throw it in the garbage. I watch in amazement as he does. Who taught him what garbage was, let alone how to throw it away?!?! A couple of days later Shenzie does the exact same thing. Just wait babies, the day is soon coming for a chore chart which means more TV time for Mama!!! (Sissies, do you remember the chore chart we used to have with dusting, dishes, garbage, bathrooms, and unloading the dishwasher…my least favorite by far were the dishes!)

¤ Last night while playing in the loft upstairs I watch as Shenzie gets a diaper wipe and takes it over to doggie. She wipes his booty a couple of times and lays the wipe down next to her with a little pat. She gets up, gets a diaper, and takes it back to doggie where she wraps it around him. She gets up again, gets another wipe and does the entire thing over again. By the time I finally stopped her she had 4 diapers and even more wipes all jumbled up around doggie. She’ll make a good Mama someday. =)

¤ Speaking of diapers….Shenzie doesn’t want to wear hers anymore. Or for that matter have it changed either. Every diaper change results in a wrestle match between her and I. Let me say it is not pretty when the diaper happens to be stinky and she is rolling, squirming, kicking, and flailing to get away. Of course Heaten sees her doing this and copies her. They both want to be naked all of the time. If I take her pants off his have to come off too. Then they start pulling at their diapers wanting them off. I wouldn’t mind the diapers off too much if we didn’t have a couple of accidents last week (one of the really bad variety right on the floor). I am going to buy some big kid undies and either put them over the diaper and make is some fun game. If the babies don’t find the game fun, instead of breaking a sweat trying to get a diaper on them I may just put them in their new undies without a diaper and hope like all getout that they catch the worst of the spillage that may occur. Is this the start of potty training or just some weird diaper revolt?

¤ Totnastics was finally a hit! Heaten and Shenzie did great last class. They love the trampoline (may have to get a mini one soon), did the balance beam, front rolls, and of course the teeter totter with 80% less fuss. Of course there was some fussing, crying, and ground rolling, but in comparison to last weeks fiasco it was much improved! Whew, what a relief! Story time is still a favorite. They are learning the songs and sitting on my lap much better. They love to play in the kid area afterwards and do very well with the puzzles and interacting with all of the other kids. I know I’m going to regret saying this, but when we’re out and about they are so well behaved (95% of the time, and knocking on wood as I type this). I’m dreading the terrible twos and horrible threes where this great behavior will most likely be a distant memory.

¤ Since running over my double stroller a couple of months ago (OOPS) I have been practicing walking the babies in place while holding my hands. They hold very well and will wait for me before walking anywhere for me to hold. My favorite part is when holding hands Heaten will give mine little squeezes while we walk. How sweet and precious. We’re practicing Stop! And don’t move. I’m always worried while loading and unloading one the other is going to run off into the parking lot or worse. I swear my heart must stop a thousand times a day with the little scares the babies give me. Falling backwards on their heads while rough housing, going down the slide wrong, running off, banging heads, you name it my heart does a little jump!

¤ What do you think it means that Shenzie yells at Heaten when he is in time out? Hmmmm. I sure hope she isn’t getting that from me. I have raised my voice to her when she bit him or bit me, but for the most part I don’t yell. She really lets him have it when he’s in time out…finger pointing and all. Little Sassy Pants.

It is 9:13am. I am sitting in front of my computer drinking my coffee and relaxing. The house is silent and my mind feels clear. How is that possible with two VERY CRAZY kids you ask? Because my husband is the BOMB and got them dressed, fixed their hair so stylin’, and took them to the park while I slept in. This is after he watched the babies all day yesterday so I could do a photoshoot AND watched them last night while I went out to dinner with the girls. Thank you sweetybabycakes!! The past week was really, really hard and I desperately needed a break.