Becoming a parent changes everything. I don’t know about the rest of you, but over here it feels like there is a lot of trial and error going on. Your first child sets the learning curve. You make mistakes, you get things right, and by the time you have your second child you are more seasoned. Less trial and error since you already know the ropes. By the time you have your third (if you are that insane) you have it down to a science.
You do not have this advantage when you have more than one child at once. Most mistakes made are made to both. Luckily most things that I get right are right to both as well.
Looking back there are few things I would have done differently. I wish I had known about baby wearing much sooner. I didn’t start wearing Heaten until 9 months (Shenzie didn’t like to be worn so it worked out well that Heaten loved it). I had the Snugli and Bjorn carriers and hated them. I didn’t know about wraps and slings so I like I missed out on a huge opportunity for more bonding. Having twins brought a lot of guilt over never being enough. Never giving enough. Never holding enough. I think baby wearing would have helped some of the guilt I felt. I currently have the Ergo carrier, and while I haven’t used it in awhile it definitely was worth the $$ and got used every day for months and months.

July 2007
I would also have separated the babies into their own rooms much sooner. I had these thoughts of all this twin bonding, laughing at each other and talking to each other at night and in the mornings. And maybe when they are older we will have all of those things, but for now I love the separation. My stress and anxiety level went down considerably when they moved into their own rooms. I did lose an office, but I love having my bedroom back from Shenzie napping in it. They both sleep so much better when separate which means that Mama sleeps better. =)

June 2007
Lastly, I would have forced the binky on Heaten. We took Shenzie’s away at 4 months by necessity. Heaten still took his, but it was more me giving it to him than him really wanting it. At 6 months I stopped forcing it and was so glad that we didn’t have to worry about taking it away later. Enter his lovey ‘Doggie’. After this weekend and the drama we are in the midst of with Doggie I wish he still had binky to give him comfort. I’ve been up since 2:30a.m. and am too tired to tell the sad story of the death of Doggie, so stay tuned and watch the drama unfold. =) or =( Depending on how much humor I can fake right now.

July 13th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Poor Heaten. Hope things get better. You also don’t have the advantage of trial
and error when you have an only child. No learning curve here either!!!
Get it right the first time, the one and only time, or you’re screwed.
July 14th, 2008 at 4:17 am
We had to separate for naps but that only lasted a few months and they still share
a room now. Last night they climbed into one bed and giggled together … worth
the stress of one room. : )
Oh, no … a lost lovey???? I can’t imagine it. Ours goes everywhere with us.
July 14th, 2008 at 5:31 am
Ohhh I love the babywearing pic. Love the tattoo… what is it tho?
My boys dont share a room any more. We had them in one for a bit but all they did was talk and wake each other up! they were so cranky. so now my almost 4 year old sleeps in our guestroom…
but I hope to transition him back into the room w/ Taite once Taite turns 2. (dec)
July 14th, 2008 at 8:39 am
I am so sorry Sissy!! That is no fun! Poor Heaten & poor you. I think that you can only do the best you can do, Shenzie & Heaten are both sooo different, but you are trying to raise them at eh same time & age & stage! I am sure it is really really difficult, but they have a great Mama & you will get him through this stage as you have all the others! I wish I had advice for you, but even with 3,yes I am insane:) I have yet to experience this drama! So don’t beat yourself up about it, how were you to know the drama little Stinker Dog would bring??? Even if he has a paci the same thing could be happening right now. Remember Mom w/ Daniel? He would only take 1 paci & when they lost it I think they went through a little of what you are going through!! I remember Aunt Glory saying that Tammy had Kayla 1 weekend & took her Paci away, she did great @ Tammy’s but when she got home she SCREAMED for her paci, well it was gone so Glory found one of her baby doll’s & cut it off & as she would put it “shoved’ it in her mouth so she would stop screaming:) So, I guess the end of this looong story is, you are not alone! Don’t let the guilt get you, you are only 1 Mama with 2 screaming, crazy, but cute toddlers!! This stage is the hardest, I promise @ 2 it will get easier, just hang on:)
July 14th, 2008 at 8:40 am
I don’t think it matters how many kids you have. You learn with each one what works and what doesn’t. Each one is different.
Kristy was showing me her Ergo carrier. So cool.
July 15th, 2008 at 7:01 am
awwwww poor little guy!!! That’s exactly what you thought would happen. I can’t believe it happened so soon though. Sorry Les, I hope it gets easier.
July 15th, 2008 at 7:01 am
SOON!!!!