Dear Shenzie and Heaten,

Whew! This last month has been kinda crazy. You two have found your voices and there is no stopping you. We had a pretty busy month filled with lots of new things. A new babysitter, the gym indoor playground, and a vacation for Mama. In addition to those new things we also had much more talking, fighting, laughing, crying, whining, giggling, and asking questions.

I love each new age more than the last and this month is no exception. While you have been driving me a little crazy with the fighting, crying, and constant testing I am loving the talking, inquisitiveness, and fun we are having. You both make me laugh daily with your silly antics, funny things, and sometimes I have to laugh when you are misbehaving because you are so obvious about it.

This month you’ve both started to really pretend play. We pretend to eat ice cream and cookies. You are finding your imaginations and it is amazing to see. I don’t even know what to write. You are both make my heart so full and I love you so much that there is nothing left to say.

Shenzie Buggle,

I used to say you were feisty, always on the go, and funny. I will now say you are twice as much as you ever were. You are constantly moving, running, laughing, hitting, scratching, testing, teasing, and giggling. You try so hard to get a reaction out of me, good or bad it doesn’t matter as long as you have my attention. You are silly beyond belief and love to make me laugh.

You Love:
Lots of babies. You now sleep with 10 stuffed animals in your crib and you know if one is missing from the bunch.
Making me laugh
Being silly
Dancing
Singing. You sing constantly. I love when we sing together.
Eating. You eat like a truck driver.
Juice
Running around with no clothes
Getting rocked by Mama
Playing with your food and smearing it all over your face, the table, and your hands
Counting to five
Candy - especially chocolate
Helping Mama cook

I love you Shenzie Buggle, more and more every single day. You are my heart.

Love,
Mama.

Dear Heaten Bear,

My little snuggle bug. You are so sweet and loving and cuddly. Your favorite thing is still sitting on our laps and drinking your milk. You LOVE you some milk and drink it all day long. Your laugh is infectious and you love to be tickled. You give deep belly laughs that end in hiccups and make my heart melt. You love to give out kisses and hugs. Each night after we sing our night songs you give me and Shenzie a kiss night night. This is probably one of my favorite moments of the day. You recently adopted a new baby (my old cabbage patch doll) that you put to bed in your crib and cover with a blanket. You walk to the door and tell baby night night and then close your door. Hopefully as you grow older you’ll always be this loving.

You Love:
Milk
Getting held
Watching TV
Eating crap food
Getting tickled
Copying Shenzie
Running around with no clothes on
Playing outside
Running after the big kids at the park
Helping Mama cook
Laying on our bed with my blanket covering your middle (your feet have to be uncovered)

I love you Heaten Bear. You are my heart.

Love,
Mama.

What do you do when your children have figured out how to open the kitchen drawers that are baby proofed?? This is bad. Very, very bad.

As a side note does anyone else ignore the quiet. You always know your kids are up to no good when it gets too quiet. Sometimes I just want the quiet to last so I ignore the fact that they are up to no good and deal with the consequences later.

And of course I can’t post without a photo!!!

And for those that need an adorable newborn baby fix click here. Baby C will melt your heart and make you wish you had a scrunchy, cuddly newborn (well, unless you are me and then you will just want to cuddle him and give him back to Mama).

For over a year now I have been wanting to join a gym or the YMCA. Last summer I visited the YMCA twice in hopes that it would get me motivated to actually join. I toured the facility, asked my questions, and mentally prepared myself. And then I never joined. I was WAY to nervous to leave the babies in the care of strangers. The what ifs just would not stop so after discussing it with Jeff I realized I just wasn’t ready for that giant step.

Fast forward 8 months. I joined a gym!!!! They built a new gym pretty close to my house and it is fantastic. It has TONS of equipment, lots of classes, an indoor pool, womans only jacuzzi, steam room, and sauna. I went in, signed up, and got myself mentally prepared again. At 2.5 months I feel the babies (and me) are ready. I went for the first time last week and dropped them off at the gym daycare. They are SUPER strict with rules and safety procedures so I felt somewhat better. Of course the babies cried when I left them which made me cry. I almost wanted to just go get them and not have to deal with it, but I truly believe in the long run it will be better for us all. I will be a better mother and I know in time they will come to love the gym playtime. There are big slides, art tables, and I think I even saw computer for the bigger kids.

Of course the entire time they were in there my eyes were glued to my tv monitor. On many of the cardio machines they have TV’s and you can tune into the gym playroom and watch your children. Shenzie sat at a table for most of the time coloring and poor caregiver had to hold Heaten the entire time. BUT, when I went to pick the babies up they weren’t crying and the care givers said they did great. I am really hopeful that soon they will look forward to “the indoor playground” and I can get a much needed break to focus on feeling like myself again.

This weekend I did my first mat pilates and really liked it. I am still sore in my stomach which shows you how very out of shape I am. I am going to try for three days a week. One spin class, one pilates class, and either a Boot Camp/Body Sculp or strength training/cardio the third day. I feel very good and positive about it all, especially since I HATE to work out. I figure if nothing else on days when the babies are driving me up the wall crazy I can go to the pool, jacuzzi, sauna, steam room and pretend I am at the spa. =)

I’m afraid my streak of daily posts has come to an end. After coming back from vacation (more on that later) I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to do anything. I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere. I clean, but the house still seems messy. I organize, but the house still seems cluttered. Add to the mix two Crazies, a new gym membership (more on that later), and our beautiful 70 degree weather and whamo, no time for computers! There are just not enough hours in the day (sound familiar Kristy). =)

Follow the leader. Heaten LOVES to follow Shenzie and copy everything she does.

I’ve also noticed the busier I get with work the less photos I take of the babies. After editing client photos for hours each day the last thing I want to do is edit even more photos. Don’t feel too bad for the babies….this just means instead of taking 500 pictures of them a week I’m only taking 100, I’m sure they won’t miss the other 400. It also means I have much less time for posting here since I’m trying to post more at my other site. So anyway….that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!!!

Vacation Lesley Edition:

Hopefully Julie won’t kill me for posting this. She made me promise not to post any pictures of her without her consent. Oops…Busted! Good thing she doesn’t read this site. =)

Ask me why when I had my big camera (DSLR) I took 95% of the photos with my Point and Shoot? Pretty silly.

And since I’m already in trouble for posting these photos I thought hey! why not dig yourself even deeper and post some from our photo session. Heehee. I love you Shmulie!

I think every little girl dreams of the day she’ll become a Mother (much to my husbands dismay). You dream of the perfect pregnancy, an easy delivery, instant bonding with your precious newborn. Nights spent rocking in a chair singing lullabies to your little one. With great certainty I can say I missed out on every single one of those. Twelve weeks of bedrest, gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, emergency C-Section, NICU, and twins. There was no rocking in chairs while feeding a baby, there was no instant bonding, there was no cuddling together. I was in a constant state of anxiety over the constant crying, feeding, burping, and trying to get two little ones to sleep at the same time. I didn’t get to sit and hold one baby because the other always needed something.

Fast forward 2.4 years. This morning I sat on the couch with Shenzie curled in my arms like a baby singing Rock a Bye Baby over and over again while we looked into each others eyes. Thinking about it at this second makes me want to cry. It was such a sweet, tender, precious moment just like I envisioned it would be (only a couple of years late). Heaten sat playing quietly while Shenzie asked for one more, one more, one more song. So I gave her one more, one more, one more song. She sang along with me at the end before playing baby was done. Of course when her turn was done Heaten wanted his turn to play baby so I scooped him up, started to sing softly to him, and what does he do? Headbutts me. Typical boy.