Not literally, although the thought did cross my mind. Just kidding. Sort of. Let me just say that the past two weeks have been pure hell. I feel like we are drowning and I need to somehow get a life vest to save us. Terrible twos (?), death of doggie, and teething are all making my life miserable. I need a serious attitude adjustment. Over the weekend I made big plans to implement this week, we’ll see if they work.
On a daily basis I am finding myself getting very frustrated, angry, depressed, and generally a moody monster. I don’t even want to be around myself, too bad that’s not an option. I’ve been really struggling with being patient, understanding, and calm. Let’s just say that the constant crying, screaming, whining, fighting, not sleeping, and insane of babies is enough to make anyone a bit loony. Loony is not a fun place to be, especially when there is no end to the crazy baby in site. Being flexible is key to being a good mother and I’m sure you’ve guessed I’m not much of a flexible person. Until now! Ok, not instant like that…more of a Lesley Makeover. I WILL be patient. I WILL be calm. I WILL be understanding. I WILL NOT be crazy.
The babies (and Mama) are out of control lately. Shenzie lashes out at Heaten over the slightest thing and scratches him. I’ve even see her go purposely for the eye area. Not acceptable. She has marked his leg, back, belly, face, and neck. She was in time out constantly, but it didn’t seem to be phasing her in the least. Enter Super Time Out. Thank you so much Laura for your guidance and advice! Super Time Out is time out in her room if we’re upstairs or in the laundry room if we’re downstairs. Instead of her going to her corner for 3 seconds and then coming out raging she has to go in the room with the door closed. She does not like this at all! Super Time Out seems to be working very well for her.
It is hard not to get angry when they hurt you or their sibling. Getting punched in the face isn’t all that fun. You wouldn’t think a little tiny mini person who weighs all of 23 pounds could do any damage, but let me tell you, they are stronger than they look. I love the idea of putting myself in time out to take a breather, but since that is not an option (the babies would really hurt each other if I wasn’t there to stop the madness) I just need to focus on staying calm. I yelled at the babies last week and felt horrible. I’m not a yeller or a spanker and I found myself wanting to do both. Instead of Time Out being TIME OUT! It is now a calm Time Out, let’s take a break and calm down. I feel much better about this approach since I was viewing Time Out as something negative to make them stop bad behavior instead of just a break to encourage good behavior. It’s amazing how much a little attitude adjustment can make such a difference to my sanity.
As far as Heaten is concerned….well, lets just say he found his voice and it isn’t pretty. The tantrums are in full force, pretty much all day. For the most part I ignore them, but OMG they really do wear on me. He hits, cries, hits his head on the hard tile, falls down and refuses to walk, fights pretty much everything. Changing diaper, getting dressed, putting shoes on, bathing, car seats. My life is a battle field right now and I think the babies are winning!!! Time Outs aren’t as effective for Heaten, but I’m hoping if I’m consistent he will eventually “get it”. For now the method that seems to work is redirection when he is hurting Shenzie and ignoring when he is having a tantrum.
The other issue is the death of doggie and the toll it is taking on his sleep. Not pretty. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE swore that 3 or 4 days of crying and he would be good as new. Death of doggie would be a distant memory. Lies! All Lies!!! Two weeks and counting and on a daily basis there is MUCH crying before sleep. Without doggie he just doesn’t know how to soothe himself so instead he cries for at least 15 minutes before every nap. The naps went from 2 hours which was a nice break down to 40 minutes which is NOT a nice break. He then wakes up very unhappy because he is still tired. Nights are a bit better. Usually the crying before bed is only a minute or two, but 3 or 4 nights a week he’ll wake in the middle of the night and cry anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour. I feel like the worst mother in the world for letting him cry, but nothing else has worked. He won’t sleep with me, he won’t be soothed by my presence in his room, he won’t take another lovey. It really, really breaks my heart to hear him cry every. single. day. but there is nothing I can do to help so once again I need to adjust my attitude. Instead of wondering if today is the day where he isn’t going to cry I need to just accept the fact that right now crying is his way of soothing himself to sleep. It may end soon or it may continue for months. I was sitting in room crying along with him which wasn’t healthy for me. I was getting more and more depressed and miserable. Like every other phase, this one will pass and (hopefully soon) be a distant memory.
Being a mother is HARD. I swear you can hear it from every mother out there, but until you experience it you don’t realize just how much it takes on a daily basis. Luckily being a mother is wonderful, beautiful, fun, and special to make up for the crazy hard!!!!
Looking at these sweet little faces you’d never know they were so INSANE CRAZY!
